Thursday, 25 August 2011

Looking From The Outside

There's something ugly and/or beautiful when you step outside of your body.

Try it. Think of a place or a memory that you hold dear to yourself. Let that be your surrounding. For me, it's a really busy place - A landmark in the Arab lands. Then get rid of everyone around you. It's just you.

That feels really weird. Now step outside of your body. And have a hard, close look at yourself.

Okay enough with checking yourself out physically and saying Masha'Allah.

Look at the person presented in front of you. His qualities. His attributes. His faith. His relationships. His achievements. His skills. His character. And the defects in his character.

It's an on going list. There's one too many things to take a look at.

I've done that. And I continue to do it.

I'm quick off the mark to focus on my slip ups, my mistakes and how to rectify them to ultimately become a better person. A better Muslim. Insha'Allah.

I want to bring this back to my recent quest experience.

My biggest mistake was one of my earlier mistakes. Aisha. I wasted too much for too long. It was a bad experience. But it taught me dearly.

I took breaks in between my quests to refine me, my thoughts and my wants.

I've come a long way.

Lets talk statistics.

Aisha fiasco - 10 months. A heartache. A waste of time.

The prospect earlier this year. Very close to marrying her. 4 months. No pain. Just learnt more about me and what I need to work on.

The sister I've just been talking to - Just over 3 weeks. It would have been a lot sooner but there's always the finer details you have to deal with. In short, I managed to get results in 1.5 weeks. Made far more progress than any suitor I've spoken to.

All suitors have something in common to say. They have never met anyone quite like me. The way I conduct myself and this process? Nothing but respect and praise.

Alhamdulillah. This journey has matured me. I've always been ahead of my peer groups but this was one area I needed work on.

And my teacher asked me if I had any feelings for this prospect. I shaked my head. I've learnt to detach any kind of attachments or feelings. I can think much more clearly. I walk away pain-free. It's a good deal.

This is how it should be. Once I find her. Those feelings will be for her and her alone.

I'm doing something right. Super right.

I'm proud of how far I've come. This is how it should have always been.


  1. Really pleased things are working for you but don't detach yourself too much. There's something worrying about guys who become far too clinical! Have a good Eid!

  2. I have to admit.. I'm a bit confused brother.

    Is this girl feeling like the one or are you still having doubts.. it's seems like you are okay and happy with everything but still seemed detached.

    If she was the one wouldn't well confident and secure? :s

    Don't have much experience with this so you gotta work with me here. :p

  3. SI - It's all about the middle path. Neither extremes I guess.

  4. Complications - I don't have any doubts regarding the girl. Unfortunately something has crept up that is a deal breaker at this moment in time.

    Sometimes these could be issues outside of your control such as a family situation, health problems etc I'm sure you get the picture.

    Just something outside of your remit.

  5. So when is your book getting published? :P Your posts sounds like chapters from a book. Consider turning it into a book when you find her. :)

    I personally like the detached approach. Definitely good to not feel hurt over rejections or things not working out. But the longer you communicate, the greater risk of you being upset by it.

  6. S4N - Want a signed copy? ;)