Tuesday, 9 August 2011

Istikhara Take Four

I think I'm coming down with something. My food and water intake has come down by about 50%. That's a lot.

Standing under the fan for 1.5 hours in taraweeh yesterday wasn't a great idea. 

Night Four
She dropped me a line today. Saying I made her feel inadequate. I'm a great guy but I should give her a chance.

I was quick off the mark to apologise. Regardless of my actions if someone feels like that, I apologise. Thinking about it. She tripped up. I was okay about it. But I did follow up a day later asking for a clarification, as things didn't make sense. Perfectly valid and rightly entitled to do so. I get the feeling she's feeling inadequate because she said she's ruining her chance. She feels inexperienced.

The advisor (sis) thinks she's a lovely girl but is lacking. She tried helping me to list what she brings to this marriage, we did pretty bad. She's nice and sincere whilst all that is lovely there may be a problem. A marriage is about two people bringing stuff to a party. My suitor herself also believes I'm bringing a whole lot to the table and is questioning why somebody like me would be interested in a girl like her. I don't like this lack of confidence.

I will continue to make excuses and focus on the good things. I believe everybody has something to bring to the party. I just need to find out what presents she has lined up.

All that said. I am starting to feel a little unsure if anything.

Istikhara take four: Complete. 

Status: Unsure. Need to see how the next few days pan out.


  1. We already know I can write dude especially when i'm off on one! :) I agree with you. When it comes to marriage, you need to work hard for it right from the beginning. Some people forget that and think it's plain sailing. This means you need to explore every possibility just in case. Life too short for regrets and you need to make sure you don't leave any stone unturned. Question everything and if it doesn't work out, then at least you know you tried your best.

    "I just need to find what presents she has lined up" ? Lol I will quote that back to you later on

    And after all that, regardless of all advice and thoughts, you have the beauty of istikhara ....'nuff said.

  2. Haha indeed but wise words Miss SI, wise words!

    One thing I've continued to do with all my prospects is to be patient. They will all receive the same treatment in that aspect. And that's super important. Just so you can say you tried. You really tried.

  3. As long as your learning from the process, it would be a shame if you didn't..

  4. If you don't you're not human.

    Oh wait, is that me?

  5. Read back over your blog shows you your thinking over time. Has it changed you completely or enhanced who you are?

  6. That's my favourite hobby!

    Just seeing the change. Lets just say I look forward to the future of what's to come insha'Allah.

    My rate of growth is interesting to say the least.

  7. "brings to the party"?

    I thought you were better / wiser / more intelligent / more mature than that.

    That statement tells me you are way too young and inexperienced to be married yet lil' bro.

    Need to give yourself a lot more time (and experience)


  8. Jasmine - I always felt like you had a good eye for rhetoric.

    Lets try again.

  9. Salams,
    Glad to see the progression. I didn't even realized that you've a potential in line. mA

    @jasmine: I can see where SS is coming from. If he feels the imbalance from the start then it is quite evident that he'll always the down times and it can turn things really sour down the road for them. it is worthy to "vow" each other than to pity marry someone else just bc they are nice. thats just my recent introspection. Allahu Alim.