You Find Your Dream Girl But . . .

Just something that crossed my mind:

You meet a Muslim girl and she's everything you imagined. She's beautiful, she's hilarious, she's intelligent and her passion for the deen steals your heart. She's all that you want plus more.

The catch? She's half way around the world and her family situation is a gamble. She's not quite sure whether she could hopp across the pond.

Do you take a punt?

Just a thought.

Pretty Woman

    "Pretty woman, walking down the street
    Pretty woman, the kind I like to meet
    Pretty woman."

It is true when people talk of how memories fade with time.

Since the beginning of quest, all those faces have faded, they had to. It's a part of growing up. It's there, the detail of all this questing is there, I haven't forgot one bit.. but the characters and their faces? They've disintegrated into a distant memory. The more recent experiences serve as catalysts to quest. I can't recall most of their faces, It happens. Immunisation I call it.

It is also true when people talk of that one face they can never seem to forget. For me, it's a lady whom I never quested. As the sole experience of my life. It illustrates chemistry at its finest.

It was Autumn, late 2009. It's hard to forget this time of the year, everyone is wrapped up to protect themselves from the frosty, crisp British breeze. It was the year of University when I was everywhere attempting  to do everything. Fresh and new to the quest, a smile goes a long way. I befriended all the boys on campus. I rapidly became well known on campus. It was only natural for my paths to cross with people from all walks of life.

As your popularity increases, so do the number of names. From "pretty boy" all the way to "superman." Pretty boy was vain, I never got on well with that. And Superman would bring about giggles. The closest I had come to flying was falling down.

Superman (brown variation), had a lame weakness. Brownies are known in acclimatising to the warmth. We never handled the cold as well as our English counter parts. I would always run to the safe haven - Library.

There was something about our Library on campus. It would be our place to pray, eat, laugh, study, laugh, socialise, sleep, youtube, laugh.. listen to, and talk about complete twaddle. You never seem to forget the hours you spend at a place like that.

As with all chillin' studying sessions, you become hungry. It became a daily tradition, rounding the boys up and rollin' down to our favourite Halaal sandwich joint.

Tummy meet brain, brain meet tummy. Walking up the stairs, the two had started conversing. The world becomes a different place when you're hungry. As the body begins to enter a catabolic state, your stomach eagerly awaits for the next rounds goods, heightening your state of awareness with it's final release of energy.

No matter how skilled I was becoming in lowering my gazing nothing could prepare me for what was about to pursue.

The middle floor was the only exit of a 10 story building. With an open design in planning - In front of you, there was a new cafe; very vogue-esque. Nice, clean and modern. To the left, a large reception desk with a number of advisor talking away. Towards the exit, security and those walking in.

Whilst you're walking in opposite direction talking and laughing away, you notice something looking at you. You have no idea what it is but whatever it is, it looks different. You can't help but look.

Then it began.

That look. That first, innocent look. What happens during that look you have no idea, you fall out of the drivers seat because you don't realise those few seconds were the longest seconds you could think of. It was a uncontrolled shift in a chain of thoughts resulting in a pause and the loss of short term memory. The value of time loses its relativity when this happens. I must have been on the brink of starvation because for that split moment I surpassed the quantum mechanics of time and space.

It was the first time I experienced a brain fart. I had no recollection or control over what had just happened.  All I knew was that I had never seen such a beautiful woman. Such a beautiful woman in hijaab, that I would continue to see for the whole year on campus.

Having never socialised with the opposite sex, It was only natural that we never did speak properly. The whole year I kept seeing her, she would always smile and give a warm Salaam. A really warm, friendly Salaam too. Dare I throw in a wave, yes the wave too.

My boys were always vigilant and sharp. They noticed my funny bone started playing up whenever this happened.

"Soulseek, she would suit you well." The boys nodded in agreement "There's no one quite like you; heck I ain't ever met a dude like you. Let me speak to someone to speak to her" another said.

"No" I said. "It's not open to discussion." And that's how it continued for the whole year.

I heard she was a mathematician and a real fun girl. Every guy wants to befriend a pretty girl. Well, almost.

The question creeps up "Why?" and "Why 3 years on?"

Dreams are a strange circulation of the unconscious. When you wake up and finish praying Fajr, you realise it's that same frosty, crisp British weather.

You look out the window and you smile. "That's a pretty girl."

And It is true, you never forget a face.

Deep, Profound Love. Hope #1

After 47 years of marriage, he still buys her flowers every Monday.

Then I came across the following. I don't use these words often but it is incredible and beautiful.

Take lessons. There's hope. There truly is.

Danny boy just rolled it into my book of manly qualities. Well played fella, well played.

Deep.
Profound.
Love.

In Praise Of Traditional Women

By Henry Makow (Revised from Jan. 2004)

___________________________

I am grateful that I married a traditional woman.
 

I don’t sacrifice any freedom for love. I am in charge. My wife is comfortable with that. I am twice as free as when I was single.
 

My wife is passive by nature. Passivity is the natural female principle. The marriage of active (male) and passive (female) is the basis of heterosexuality.
 

But it is heresy to say so.

Women are actually ashamed to want to be homemakers. How did this happen? How did motherhood go from being honored to being stigmatized? This change in attitude is the trajectory of Illuminist subversion of America. Obviously, the Illuminists prefer women to be corporate widgets rather than wives and mothers.

A woman needs a man to love her. The notion that she should be “independent” and career oriented is absurd. As if pounding a mail route is superior to making a home and caring for loved ones. As if obeying a boss is superior to assisting the man she chose to love and marry.

There is no greater blessing than a woman whose grace, beauty and love warms a home like sunshine. There is no greater gift than the precious love she gives husband and children.

THE PASSIVE (FEMALE) PRINCIPLE

The passive principle is the earth principle. The earth receives sunshine, water and seed and produces life. A woman receives a man’s love and seed and performs the miracle of giving birth to a human being.

A healthy woman in love wants to recreate her husband in her children.

Carrying and nurturing the young is the essence of female psychology. The denial of this reveals the Illuminists’ desire to override nature and control all human life.

Being a wife and mother is what makes a woman tick. She needs to be intensely needed and loved by her husband and children.

These roles are passive by nature. They involve a great deal of adaptation and self sacrifice. But they also require that she is not taken for granted. A wife and mother must be cherished and honored for her priceless contribution.

A woman is not going to be loved permanently for her appearance which is transitory, or for her accomplishments. Love is not like that. We love the people who sacrifice for us.

Men also sacrifice by supporting their families and providing leadership and love. Happiness can only be found in love, not self-seeking. Love is self-sacrifice. Human beings were designed to look after each other.

In contrast, Illuminism sees “freedom” as self indulgence. This is not the “truth that will make you free.”

The model I am describing used to be second nature. It has become esoteric knowledge. It is not for everyone. I offer it to those looking for an alternative to feminist dysfunction. You will find your own balance.

Marriage is under constant assault. This formula has worked for centuries and still works today.

THE ACTIVE (MALE) PRINCIPLE

The Male Principle is the God Principle – energy, form and direction.

Women want to look up to their husbands. They tend to seek men who are older and more successful. Why? They want their husband to be like their father was (or should have been), strong, capable, reliable, protective and nurturing.

More than anything, they are seeking emotional and physical security. They feel most secure when they feel possessed by a strong, loving man.

A man should prepare himself for this role. He should have a clear vision of what he wants to do with his life. If he is lost, he might ask God how he can serve Him. What was I born to do?

A man’s work should be his first priority and source of challenge and self-confidence. In contrast, a woman was not designed to get meaning from career. For her, career is secondary to being loved and needed.

Despite what feminists say, a man should never show weakness. The essence of masculinity is power. If he is weak, he loses a woman’s respect. If he lacks confidence, he should gain it by setting goals and achieving them.

A man should never think of any woman as a sine qua non. That puts him in a position of weakness. (She has to pass your test, not vice-versa.)

A man should never succumb to emotional blackmail. If a woman is withholding love or sulking, he should give her time to get over it.

A man should know what role he wants his wife to play. A man usually chooses on the basis of sexual attraction. What else does he want? I appreciate my wife’s reasonableness, intelligence, competence, and sense of humor. Think of the long haul. You need someone who is easy to live with.

Most women were meant to be wives and mothers. A man should think about becoming a father and the responsibility this entails. He is not only providing for his offspring, but also teaching them how to be human beings. He is creating a new world, a family.

A man will not care about something that doesn’t belong to him. He should find a woman who is prepared to surrender power in exchange for love. A creature with two heads is a monster. A family with two heads will go in two directions. The man is the head; the woman is the heart.

Marriage is about dependence, not independence. It is about union, two people becoming one. For women, surrender of power is the essence of love. If a woman can’t trust a man with her life, she doesn’t love him and shouldn’t marry him.

Marriage is about possession and being possessed, which most men and women crave. A successful union is the only thing that satisfies the spiritual hunger underlying the sex drive, and prevents wander lust.

The heterosexual contract is this. The husband has the power and he does his best within reason to make his wife happy. A man cannot love a woman if he doesn’t have the power to grant her wishes.

But a man must keep his end of the contract, or the marriage is off. He must be loyal, and show every day how much he appreciates her.

CUTTING THROUGH THE FOG: THE STALINIZATION OF LOVE

The vast majority of people find their identity and values in family. Destroy the family and the state is in control.

Incredible as it sounds, the Illuminists are building a world police state. The international bankers finagled the right to create money out of nothing and collect interest on it. They need a police state to protect this racket and make sure no country defaults. They own the mass media, politicians, and dominate big business.

Feminism is the cover for a sophisticated illuminist propaganda program. We have been brainwashed.

Nobody has a problem with treating women as equal to men. Feminism treats women as though they were men. It portrays heterosexuality as pathology and discriminates against men. Women are favored for jobs so they will have careers instead of children and men can’t support their families.

Society is being sabotaged. Alas, this is what the “war on terror” is really about, enslaving the world, not protecting it.

Bella Dodd, a former leader of the American Communist Party revealed: “The bourgeois family as a social unit was to be made obsolete.” The aim was to “create a new type of human being that would conform to the world they confidently expected to control.”

The bankers use Communism is to overthrow the Christian foundations of Western civilization and put themselves in charge. This is the true meaning of revolution.

The Rockefeller Foundation funds feminism. I searched RF and “Women’s Studies” in Google and got 137,000 entries. They have funded population control and eugenics research for decades, here, in the USSR and in Nazi Germany.

With women usurping the male role, we are becoming a homosexual society. There is a difference between accepting homosexuals as human beings, which I do, and allowing society as a whole to become homosexual.

Sound extreme? Consider this.

Homosexuality is the inability to form a permanent bond with a member of the opposite sex. It is commonly characterized by an obsession with sex and promiscuity. Sex becomes a surrogate for love. Doesn’t this describe society today?

Homosexuals generally have sex but no families or children. The bankers want us to have fewer children, and indeed the birth rate has plummeted since the 1960′s.

The Illuminists aren’t afraid of gays, single mothers or children. They are afraid of proud strong men who have families to protect. This is behind the degradation of men.

An ad for Swanson’s TV Dinners goes like this. Working mom asked for a big bowl she can eat on the run. Swanson responded. Kids wanted something for after school. Swanson responded. “Dad wanted to wear mom’s frilly under things!” Picture father with a goofy smile. “We didn’t know how to respond.” This is an example of the ongoing corporate attack on masculinity. The Whiskas cat food ads are another. They would never portray women as cats.

“First You Get the Women, Then You’ve Got the Children, So Follow the Men” -Adolph Hitler

CONCLUSION 

 
We can fight the New World Order by having strong male-led families. 

After many marital mishaps, I now have a frictionless marriage. My wife and I complement each other. She doesn’t compete, criticize, complain or try to control, the four C’s. She tells me if something is wrong. I try to make her happy. She’s part of me.
 

Because of her passive nature, I don’t feel like I must constantly anticipate and meet her expectations. Rather she allows me to propose. Usually, she assents. When she doesn’t, we compromise. Her acquiescence empowers and completes me.
 

I love her. She commits the unpardonable crime. She is good to a man.

Summary Of Online Matrimony Sites

Since I started this blog, I've purposely steered away from talking about Muslim online matrimonial sites. Perhaps its time to start dropping my thoughts.

Here's a thought:

Perspective

"The average life span in my Ummah is between sixty and seventy years, and only a few pass this age.'' - Tirmidhi

Perspective.

Perspective is what keeps my quest going. I suppose I could have opted for some pretty fine looking women. I suppose, I could have chosen to go and fulfil my desires the right way. But they would have been bad decisions. The reason has to be more than frustration.

If we go upon the above hadith. Should Allah grant me those years, I've lived approx 1/3 of my life. Leaving 2/3's to share with a woman who will stand by my side and help me raise our children.

Think about it. Taking away the years of growing up as a child, reaching puberty and then looking to find someone who will be that garment that Allah talks of. That's a fair number of years.

All of a sudden when you realise Jannah is the resting place you seek. Would it not affect your decision?

You know that pretty face? Doesn't quite cut it any more. You  begin realise, after being sexually active it will become like any other instinct. You soon take it for granted and then move on to the more important stuff. Because there will always be the more important stuff. It's an essential part of being insaan.

The fitna grows like a disease every day. I want to be selfish. But I can't.

Why?

Perspective.

Thrill Of The Unseen

There's something ever so exciting and adventurous about about the uncertain world. Lately I found myself becoming a little distant with things. Although I believe my diet and regime to account for this lack of interest and energy, I believe there is more to it. You can either slog along panting throughout this cold winter from the bottom of your breathe 'when are things going to start moving' or you can begin to embrace the thrill.

Me? I'm going to embrace the thrill option. What's been lacking is the motivation and the drive. Right now I'm jumping back in the drivers seat. I've booked my 13,000ft skydive and I'm ready to start backpacking. I'm on course to finish the tafsir of Qur'an by end of the year if I keep up my 6 classes a week and do some intensive weekends. I'm currently the best version of myself in every single way. I'm in the best shape of my life. I'm confident, smarter, sharper, stronger and I'm told that I'm more handsome than I've ever been.

I feel ridiculously focused and I know of the things I want and how I will achieve them.

The beautiful thing about qadr (ordainment) is you never know what's around the corner. For example; the suitors I'm currently looking into, there's that hope for the best, I continue to put in effort and make each one work but I'm mostly inclined to expect the worst. It's become a way of quest.

Whenever we develop as human beings our thoughts, aspirations and needs change accordingly. This is a cycle that will you come to appreciate and learn. Until the law of quest (qadr) says otherwise.

I don't feel frustrated. I have this serene and calm feeling. It feels intoxicating.

No human can go frustration free. These phases are short lived because you realise Allah created you as a human, and like every other being - weak. However, I've found ways to keep these stages and weaknesses to a minimum, and because of that I'm constantly becoming the best version of myself.

Appreciate being single. I can only do all these things without having to worry or be responsible for her.

It humbles me that regardless of how much I try, what I achieve will only come by the decree of Allah. And there's not a darn thing I can do about that. As that knowledge resides with him and him alone. He's going to take care of the unseen stuff. I have to take care of the seen stuff. I like this arrangement. Simple and quite sick.

I'm chillin', I'm dillin' n I'm en route to be thrillin'. N'am sayin'?