There's something ever so exciting and adventurous about about the uncertain world. Lately I found myself becoming a little distant with things. Although I believe my diet and regime to account for this lack of interest and energy, I believe there is more to it. You can either slog along panting throughout this cold winter from the bottom of your breathe 'when are things going to start moving' or you can begin to embrace the thrill.
Me? I'm going to embrace the thrill option. What's been lacking is the motivation and the drive. Right now I'm jumping back in the drivers seat. I've booked my 13,000ft skydive and I'm ready to start backpacking. I'm on course to finish the tafsir of Qur'an by end of the year if I keep up my 6 classes a week and do some intensive weekends. I'm currently the best version of myself in every single way. I'm in the best shape of my life. I'm confident, smarter, sharper, stronger and I'm told that I'm more handsome than I've ever been.
I feel ridiculously focused and I know of the things I want and how I will achieve them.
The beautiful thing about qadr (ordainment) is you never know what's around the corner. For example; the suitors I'm currently looking into, there's that hope for the best, I continue to put in effort and make each one work but I'm mostly inclined to expect the worst. It's become a way of quest.
Whenever we develop as human beings our thoughts, aspirations and needs change accordingly. This is a cycle that will you come to appreciate and learn. Until the law of quest (qadr) says otherwise.
I don't feel frustrated. I have this serene and calm feeling. It feels intoxicating.
No human can go frustration free. These phases are short lived because you realise Allah created you as a human, and like every other being - weak. However, I've found ways to keep these stages and weaknesses to a minimum, and because of that I'm constantly becoming the best version of myself.
Appreciate being single. I can only do all these things without having to worry or be responsible for her.
It humbles me that regardless of how much I try, what I achieve will only come by the decree of Allah. And there's not a darn thing I can do about that. As that knowledge resides with him and him alone. He's going to take care of the unseen stuff. I have to take care of the seen stuff. I like this arrangement. Simple and quite sick.
I'm chillin', I'm dillin' n I'm en route to be thrillin'. N'am sayin'?