I had an epiphany. It all started at 5:30am at fajr on the 28th of March. I was really tired, went back to bed straight after Salah. Body aching from the heavy training. The soul and body yearning for more rest. The brain had other plans, it went into overdrive. It happened for 4 hours the first time. Then it continued a few days after. Whilst it was happening, I didn't go to work. I didn't read any books and I didn't write any notes. I just lied there and let it happen. A revelation in action. A wealth of information being delivered. One after another.
It made perfect sense. Every single thing. Cut all the rhetoric and drama and all the crap in the air. I see it. I have all the answers I've been looking for.
A new quest has now made its way into my life.
Originally my quest was to find the one. I then had another personal quest that I wanted to achieve. Now a third quest has made its way. All these quests are independent, they don't clash or rely on each other. They do intertwine and meet at some point. Insha'Allah 1 and 3 make sense together, it's a thing of beauty. I'm working on all of them. What good is all this jibberish without a diagram?!
I have a series of tasks to accomplish and even though I can do it simultaneously, the truth is I'm loving bachelorhood. Ladies and Gentlemen. For the first time since this started, I'm thinking of coming off the market. I'm going through this phase at the moment where I just cannot stop reading. I am reading anything and everything. For the first time, I'm starting to feel less rushed. I am in complete control. I've got my desires under locks. And more importantly I'm becoming a man of value. At long last. My predictions fell short of a few years but it's what I've been striving for. My friends would always hold my in a high regard but I try plaster my qualities with modesty. Arrogance is a big dear. My dua every morning is to make the day without an ounce of arrogance entering my heart. Everyday the ritual begins, pure intentions for his sake, mine too. The penny drops.
To my seven successful failures. Thank you. You played well. I know you're all good girls. Of course you are, I picked you. I did see something there. However, you just wasn't the one for me. I do dua you make it some day.
Here's the deal. You remember all those times when things went awkward? Or when poo hit the fan? That was all wonderful. It all played out well. I didn't just walk away thinking "another bites the dust". I thought about it. And I thought about. And I thought about it some more. I took the whole reflection thing to another stage. It was never just about marriage. For 3 years, it was about the journey. I developed myself leaps and bounds ahead of my peers.
I went in to get burnt. I knew it was the only I would learn. First hand experience. The more potentials I went through the easier it would become. To point where it was easy. The emotional aspect worked a charm. I've overcome all the barriers I started with. I can now proudly wear the omega male badge. It takes a fine amount of tuning to balance the Alpha and Beta male traits. Early in the process I was afraid of going 100% with my instincts, I felt that I was too much for some girls. I intimidated them. Now, I just get it.
I spiced up my variety of prospects. They were all practising but each had very distinct traits. From the most beautiful girls I have laid my eyes on to the smartest of women. From the most religious ones to those with adorable characteristics. You all made me understand myself and every damn thing about me and around me. I get it all. I feel on top of the world. I always possessed healthy doses of self-esteem, image and confidence. Now I'm just upping my game.
It would be sad to call this the end. I'm still thinking about it. We'll see where the next few weeks take me. I will continue to finish off the stuff I started writing.
The most eligible bachelor. Scoring the one. Being the man I've always wanted to be. I got it. Tick, tick and tick. I've solved the conundrum.
You can do all these things too. It's a lifetime of perfection but learn how to get started early. Become a man of understanding. Stick to the Qur'an and Sunnah and you will never mess up. All your pursuances, do it halal. There will be so much barakah in your future. Keep it clean and you'll be full of gleam.
Peace.
It made perfect sense. Every single thing. Cut all the rhetoric and drama and all the crap in the air. I see it. I have all the answers I've been looking for.
A new quest has now made its way into my life.
“The man who actually knows just what he wants in life has already gone a long way toward attaining it.” - Napoleon Hill
Originally my quest was to find the one. I then had another personal quest that I wanted to achieve. Now a third quest has made its way. All these quests are independent, they don't clash or rely on each other. They do intertwine and meet at some point. Insha'Allah 1 and 3 make sense together, it's a thing of beauty. I'm working on all of them. What good is all this jibberish without a diagram?!
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| Everyone's a WINNER!!! |
I have a series of tasks to accomplish and even though I can do it simultaneously, the truth is I'm loving bachelorhood. Ladies and Gentlemen. For the first time since this started, I'm thinking of coming off the market. I'm going through this phase at the moment where I just cannot stop reading. I am reading anything and everything. For the first time, I'm starting to feel less rushed. I am in complete control. I've got my desires under locks. And more importantly I'm becoming a man of value. At long last. My predictions fell short of a few years but it's what I've been striving for. My friends would always hold my in a high regard but I try plaster my qualities with modesty. Arrogance is a big dear. My dua every morning is to make the day without an ounce of arrogance entering my heart. Everyday the ritual begins, pure intentions for his sake, mine too. The penny drops.
To my seven successful failures. Thank you. You played well. I know you're all good girls. Of course you are, I picked you. I did see something there. However, you just wasn't the one for me. I do dua you make it some day.
Here's the deal. You remember all those times when things went awkward? Or when poo hit the fan? That was all wonderful. It all played out well. I didn't just walk away thinking "another bites the dust". I thought about it. And I thought about. And I thought about it some more. I took the whole reflection thing to another stage. It was never just about marriage. For 3 years, it was about the journey. I developed myself leaps and bounds ahead of my peers.
I went in to get burnt. I knew it was the only I would learn. First hand experience. The more potentials I went through the easier it would become. To point where it was easy. The emotional aspect worked a charm. I've overcome all the barriers I started with. I can now proudly wear the omega male badge. It takes a fine amount of tuning to balance the Alpha and Beta male traits. Early in the process I was afraid of going 100% with my instincts, I felt that I was too much for some girls. I intimidated them. Now, I just get it.
I spiced up my variety of prospects. They were all practising but each had very distinct traits. From the most beautiful girls I have laid my eyes on to the smartest of women. From the most religious ones to those with adorable characteristics. You all made me understand myself and every damn thing about me and around me. I get it all. I feel on top of the world. I always possessed healthy doses of self-esteem, image and confidence. Now I'm just upping my game.
It would be sad to call this the end. I'm still thinking about it. We'll see where the next few weeks take me. I will continue to finish off the stuff I started writing.
The most eligible bachelor. Scoring the one. Being the man I've always wanted to be. I got it. Tick, tick and tick. I've solved the conundrum.
You can do all these things too. It's a lifetime of perfection but learn how to get started early. Become a man of understanding. Stick to the Qur'an and Sunnah and you will never mess up. All your pursuances, do it halal. There will be so much barakah in your future. Keep it clean and you'll be full of gleam.
Peace.
Good for you - knew you would get there eventually.
ReplyDeleteWhen you finally realise there's no rush, things start to come together. My younger brother got married before me. It lifted the pressure off of me and since then I have just enjoyed life and taken it for what it is.
What you think you know right now, will adapt over the years and you will look back and be grateful for everything you went through.
Never stop learning.
On the job training is where the rave's usually at. However, the sitting back and watching the fireworks go up is just as important.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. I look at my thinking over the years. Interesting to say the least. I was much more philosophical about things and there was an understandable level of nativity given the age and experiences.
There's a lot to learn and look forward to.
Embrace :)
so what exactly are your new quests? maybe you could have a post on them or something like explaining them in some detail. thanks.
ReplyDeleteThat would be telling ;o)
ReplyDeleteThere will always be two camps telling you different things. You choose the path you want to take to get to the destination you want to get to. That's the beauty of life and it applies to everything, not just marriage.
ReplyDeleteOh and the eligible bachelor? haha haha haha
It would be a shame if you stopped writing.