We've determined that Allah (swt) has a decreed a number of things in our life. We also know that we have to actively go out and seek our provisions.
So how do we go out and seek marriage?
This is the one we all have problems with. We think on how on earth do you approach a guy or woman?
Do we use the following chat up lines:
> Girl when I saw you I said mashallah . . then I said inshallah!
> Allah created everything in pairs, so what are you doing single?
Or how about . . .
> Wanna ride shotgun on my camel?
> Is your dad a terrorist, ‘cuz you da bomb!
I've never used any of these lines and I don't intend on having a go for now. However, if you do decide to use one . . . let me know how it goes!
Lets take a look at some options.
Where to look
No doubt the best and easiest place to find single muslims are at Univeristy and Islamic Events in the West. In addition, there are family/friends/occasions/events to widen the search. Basically take every opportunity you can.
Where I live there are a lot of single muslim girls looking for marriage. Most young muslims realise it's the only way to be in an acceptable relationship. What's the problem then? There's a lot of incompatibility issues.
Networking is extremely important in this game. Make your self known and available on the market. Friends, family and relatives. Plaster it on Facebook if you have to ;)
If your network is small don't distress. Alhamdulillah it's fairly easy to strike a conversation with any muslim. Just be yourself and make a diverse range of contacts. As with all human beings you'll encountered some amazing people and some completely opposite.
Making the move
You've been on the prowl, you got your connections and you 've come across the girl you want to know more about. She's got the hijaab on, dressed modestly with noor glowing on her beautiful face. What do you do?
Here are some scenario's:
- Sending a female (be it your mum, sister or relative) on your behalf to spark up a conversation with her.
- If the above is is not possible this is where networking comes in to play. You get one of your friends to find a female to interact with her.
- Be direct and, approach either her/her friends and attempt to get her fathers number. This is pretty awkward but hey! It's not meant to be all easy right?
- Bring a guitar and play/sing You and me.
The first and second option is by far the easiest and simplest. The third option takes real courage and it's a very direct approach. Please don't creep out the brother/sister by just walking up to them and saying "Give your dad's number . . NOW!". Something along the lines of "Assalamu Alaikum, are you interested in marriage? If you are . . would you mind giving me your fathers number?" would go down well. Maybe?
#3 is incredibly is awkward and innapropriate. It's not really practical. Especially if her friends are around her. It could end up being embarrassing and a highlight of the day for the girls.
On that bombshell, this will now extend to a part 3!
Part 3 will consist of some finer points for option 3 and a males/females role in this adventure.