Derived from the Arabic word qisma.
This has constantly been running around in my head. I keep hearing this word.
Over the last week I've witnessed two failed marriages.
I've known this brother since we've been children. so I like to think I know him pretty well. We've even been abroad together! He got married a few years back. Unfortunately he was desperate and he rushed into this marriage. They had a few meets and on every occasion he went to their house his spouse used to cover and portray 'housewife' qualities.
I actual recall attending the wedding and father showing me her sister. They were all blessed with beauty and I have to say the one my father showed me was definitely up there with the looks. I was a few years younger then and even then I could see through the pretty looks.
Unfortunate for the brother, he thought he scored and her looks was all he caught up by.
Any how, a few years on these two have had an extremely tough time.The girl is what we'd call a disrespectful woman. She walks around attracting males attention with a child. What must be going through her mind? The brother had revealed they haven't slept on the same bed for 2 years and it's a disaster. She's everything he disapproves of.
Last week they had a massive argument and he lashed out. The outcome? Divorce.
The typical 'Alpha male' owning his wife. He had beaten up his wife and I was called to intervene.
What did he hit her for? A comment. I kid you not! She asked him if he would like to do something to return a favour to a family and he lashed out on her making a suggestion!
She's not allowed to talk without his permission.
I saw her in tears, trembling. It hurt me, it hurt me a lot.
Allahu Akbar! What have people become? What have muslims become?
I'm currently in the process of helping this poor (pious) woman, resolve this stupidity with the aid of some community members.
If these two couple knew their lives would end in tears would they have married? They both said their marriage was a mistake. Indeed a dear mistake to make with kids.
This is ultimately; fate. We have established in Seeking Marriage (Part 1) that Allah controls a number of provisions in our life. However, we are given the power to make decisions. To choose.
It is these decisions we make, that affect our life. The end result will always be from Allah but we should never neglect our duty to make a good decision.
Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere. [Qur'an 47: 31]
I will wait as long as it takes for a good wife. I know what my qualities are. By Allah, I know I will treat my wife with love and respect. The question is . . how will she turn out?
I won't turn a blind eye to find out.