Friday, 9 December 2011

Why Men And Women Cannot Be Friends


The deen is clear cut in its stance on this. This hikmah from the qur'an in how and why is just truly profound.

Lets see what regular folks have gotta say.

Warning: Contains some lol'age.

Drop your thoughts below.


  1. My friends nd I jus had a discussion over this video yesterday..loll.its least one side...will end up having feelings sooner or later..which means its no longer "friendship" but the danger zone loll

  2. Interesting.... this left me pondering.

    This video totally supports your last post. :p

    Don't really have that many guys I'd call "friends".... because I just personally feel more comfortable around my own I don't really know where I stand on this.

    Though with regards to this; I find that there are exceptions... I mean...does EVERY guy who talks to a woman actually want to BE with her?

    Cause that would be pretty sad.

  3. Comnplications - Not at all. I know the context you're referring to. Lets put a spin on things.

    The problem is because we live in over-sexualised society we have men that don't want to BE with her, rather they want to USE her. See? There's nothing wrong with wanting to be with a woman. That's commitment and it's a step in the right direction for a harmonious society. As opposed to a man who just wants use her and move onto another so he rack up his 'game' credentials.

    To properly answer your question, no we're not all the same. I don't represent the masses in any shape or form. So, I speak for myself here; I don't see a woman as a piece of meat. But that doesn't justify Islam's stance on this. It doesn't make it okay for me jam with females even though I know my level of self control is immense - there are no exceptions.

    Allah (swt) talks of not coming even close to Zina. He doesn't add a disclaimer to that saying 'well only those men that feel hot blooded and are unable to control themselves.' It's the same rule for all believing men and women. Period. No exceptions. And that's the way it is. There's wisdom behind it.

  4. MB - Aye, especially for those of who have been to a mixed school in the west. We saw it day in and day out. Perhaps even with our own friends!

    SI - You define friendship?

  5. OK - here goes.

    I agree to some extent. The answer is no. Men and women cannot be close friends. However, there are exceptions. There are different levels of interactions with different people. The reason why I asked you to define friendship is because of this very reason. Some relationships are purely platonic. There are no hidden/underlying intentions. However, where the 'women and men cannot be friends' stance comes in when the opposite person may not have the same intentions as you which is why both parties must be careful. Every relationship/friendship should have boundaries and as humans sometimes we forget and we do need reminding of that:(

    And even though we live in an over-sexualised society, I do find a lot of people are desensitised. This means where once it was exciting to meet a new guy/girl, it no longer is. At my age and through people I have met (including ex potentials), I actually believe you can feel genuine concern and love/empathy for someone without having that attraction there for anything more. Although, I am no longer in contact with any of them.

    For me, friendship is when somebody knows everything about you and is a constant in your life throughout your 'whole' life. Valuing, respecting, trusting and being honest are what constitutes a good friend. Someone who has the other person's best interests at heart with no motive for any self gain for whatever reason. The rest are just acquaintances. Like the video shows, one sided friendship with the hope/possibility of wanting something more.

  6. Omg! I was watching this video on youtube the other day!
    It kind of frustrated me, because in the society that we live in, you can't just NOT have guy friends. Regardless of how much self respect and Haya you have. But Islam is against it, and Islam doesn't just say anything that doesn't have logic behind it..and this video proves the Islamic point, but at the same time...all the guy-friends you they really do think like this..?
    lol I feel like I'm talking to myself. I'll stop!

    Great post! x

  7. 'Cause it can't happen, 'cause its FAIL lool

    It's forcing something unnatural to take place and its awkward. Yes, there are some acquaintances you make out of necessity but friends? Man, scowl mask is just so appropriate when stuff like this almost wants to happen, magically summon a scowl-face!