Thursday, 20 January 2011

Second Night Of The Decision

I've been thinking about this all day.

I don't know why but I feel weird. It's not a positive weird either. I think I need to speak to her.

Night two of Istikhara. Done.

Status: Confused.

1 comment:

  1. I posted this in your previous post, but it didn't show up. Anyway:

    This is sounding very awesome :)

    And since you're in the decision phase with this Istikhara, I hope you'll take the comments you get on this site as part of the guidance that is intended for you.

    My small contribution is this:

    With regards to the looks issue - you clearly are attracted to her; and in my books - it sounds like sufficient attraction to satisfy the 'looks' part of your list.

    I concur with the commenter in your previous post (the long comment about looks). We should not miss amazing opportunities based on superficial criteria - criteria that change over time.

    That said, looks are important. But from the way you describe her - like i said, it seems that that particular criteria is taken care of to an acceptable standard.

    From my experience of this - which is only one person (who I married and am very very happy with:) - if the looks are acceptable, then put that aside and focus on the other important things: the long-lasting, critical aspects that you know are most important: deen, character, and personality.

    Forget all those "perfect match", "the one" and "soulmate" ideas...this isn't some Hollywood type quest for perfection. (And besides, perfection in that kind of quest only ever comes in movies and fiction).

    Look at the situation and ask yourself if you think this is the person that can, realistically, truly, help you grow and improve in your deen and character.

    Does she have those qualities - as far as you can see so far? (And know that before marriage, we can't ever be sure of the other person - but we rely on Allah to guide us in the thinking and decisions.)

    If she has those qualities, and you already like other aspects of her (EXCLUDING looks - which should now be out of the picture by this point), then you really are onto something amazing.

    And if your families get along - believe me, that's a major, majorly important plus factor for you.

    Again, I just want to emphasize the advice that you should not make this about an impossible standard of the "perfect match" or "soulmate".

    No one will be absolutely 'perfect' for you - not in this life, at least. But if you find someone who has those qualities I described above, and you take the chance - putting your trust in Allah - then insha-Allah He will grant you both a beautiful life in this dunya; and that perfection you were seeking...well, that's for Jannah, insha-Allah :)