Thursday, 1 April 2010

The Tippin' Point

Discomfort and pain. Ah I know you guys. You're here to mess me up. Not doing a bad job at all me hearties!

These past 4 months have been very difficult. I have never had to deal with these kind of emotions. I've never dealt with another potential so soon.

The situation is more complex than the theory of quantum physics. It's extremely confusing and strange.

Words cannot describe how much I've tried. My patience is really being tested.

I have never been so exposed and out of my comfort zone.

This is good. I don't think I could have learnt what I have - For years to come; but it's a heft price to pay when it comes to emotions. Emotions that can either make you or break you.

I've never been one to quit. I've somehow managed to make it again?

Say hello to paper. Paper will now be my new friend!

Something so simple, has given me that dose of chill. I just attended tafsir class with the comfort knowing sooner or later something good will come out of all this heartache.

I'm still in pain. Chin up. Smile.

Thank you ya rabb.


  1. Ahhhh. You sound in agony. I wish pursuit of marriage had an "emergency section" available at every hospital where people like us had a treatment for once and all.
    there is reward in it! yes, there's reward in it. insha'Allah!!

  2. I also, think that Allah swt might be tested you even more now. There's no doubt that, your pain might increase especially how that Hero is off the hook. (I am not referring to jealous, just the subtle subconscious feeling of longing might intensify.)

    But, don't worry. you still have all of us, by you! lol.

  3. Haha, now that... I like! =)

  4. dont worry soulseek! when you come to my wedding in that far, far land, you can be my best man and i'll hook you up with one of the bridesmaids!! LOL!

  5. So true. I look back at my years and look at how difficult it was for me growing up. I went through things that I hope no others must should go through and I always thought, what could *possibly* be worse than this?

    Its only going to become more challenging. Allah tests those whom he loves. We all have our tests. But I gotta say, this test is taking the cake! :D

    Even now, I believe we have it very easy compared to those whom are way less fortunate than us.

  6. Hahaha akhi, why would I want it easy when I can play hard, eh? ;)

  7. you know sometimes, it's worth just taking a break. from everything. including looking for a gal.

    i know it's hard to take your mind off of all these issues, but sometimes, us humans need to think about other things to refocus our lives. to remember once again those concepts of why we exist, our accountability in this life, and how we are going to manage to earn enough brownie points for Allah to enter jannah.

    remember when i told my boss that i was going to disappear for about 2 weeks? for all those who don't know, I left town without telling my family, friends or even work colleagues. And I went to a secret hiding place. Only 2 brothers in the whole world knew where I was. I had to get away from it all. emotions were confusing me. feelings that I had never felt before were making my life a misery!

    I signed up to a new gym for a couple weeks and i never logged on to facebook in that time period either. lol.

    when my mum called to ask me why she hadn't seen my face for a few days, I refused to tell her where i was or why i had disappeared! hahaha!

    but at least i was able to focus again on life. at least i was able to come home with a fresh outlook on life, full of energy, and ready for a new challenge.

    that secret vacation helped me out big time, bro. maybe you can do the same! (i'll hide you in the basement! hahaha!)

  8. I think the hardest test is when you are almost certain that what you are looking for front of you..within your reach (figuratively speaking)..then you can't get it.

    :sign: Yes. Mr. Humanitarian and I haven't seen each other yet. for Some odd reason, my heart was so calm in his presence. Unlike my other potentials..when I used to think of my other potentials, either my mind or heart would race with all the possible obsticles I might face.

    With this's just different. Did you brothers ever encounter similar with any of your potential? When you have it in your palm?

    I hate to land on my face.. once i know he is for sure gone or taken.. :(

    also, are you brothers quite older? how old? mashaAllah HERO, you were looking for 8 years!

  9. br. Soulseek, Have you tried cousins? matrimonal sessions at home? the imam at the masjid?

    sorry, I haven't had a chance to fully stalk you on your blog! LOL

  10. well why dont you hijabi sailoress and soul seek trry to match? lol

  11. Good idea! but not really. that's because, my parents are gonna shoot me for talking to a guy ONLINE. :read conservative parents:

    and also, i'm not from UK. I live in North America. It's gonna be a hard transition. and but i still think, soulseek is a nice brother mashaAllah!

    he'll find someone better. :)

  12. OMG. I didn't know you guys ON FACEBOOK!!! What if I am weed out from my potentials? :O

  13. lol thats not a problem hijabi. soulseek are you ready to fly out to NA?

    we will take care of the parents insha'Allah

  14. Lol. Toush, let me ask you something how much are you getting paid per hour? :-)


    Seriously, I'm not interested. Besides, what kind of friend are you? The brother is already stressed and here you him false hope!

    Br. Seek, ignore Toush.

  15. I love awkwardness!

    So here's a picture of king julian!!! Ah that's broke the ice, lol :-)

    geetar - Ah I remember your little run away adventure, we had so many laughs! I agree, I need to deal with these few issues at hand then we'll go on our secret camping trip in France!

    sailoress - I have had many offers from cousins but I just find it erm weird? Alhamdulillah I have a lot of options available so I haven't attended any matrimonial based events or approached the imam (not that the locals would be of much help - more to come on that).

  16. @ Soul Seek...

    I'm sorry to hear about how these 4 mo have been so hard for you.

    Hope you feel better soon and Allah swt blesses you and all the young muslims out there going through the same thing with righteous partners that will make these worries ancient history :D