Friday, 2 April 2010

I thank Allah I'm not in your position!

That's what a brother said to me. We laughed and laughed. How did I get into the rut that I'm in?

It's a blessing

You'll find my next few entries fairly bizarre. It will be like memento. I'll be back tracing back to the original story.

Lets drop a few names. The current girl is 'Aisha' and the amazing prospect was 'Husna'.

I've been trying really hard with the current potentional, Aisha. She has some really exceptional circumstances that I can't even begin to explain.

I always find that whenever I'm in a difficult position. I submit to Allah and seek his help and wisdom. I recently did istikharaa regarding this girl as we needed to come to some kind of decision of where we stood.

When I did istikhara nothing happened. At Fajr I begged Allah to send me a sign. In my dream. I didn't see her. I saw an old friend. I was laughing and playing in the park. I also saw 'An Amazing Prospect She Was' (Husna). She had this smile. The shy kind.

I realise that these could just be feelings that I've had. With the information that I'm presented with; I must take action.

I would never give up on anyone. I will always give them the rights and respect that they're due regardless of their nature or past. However this situation has really ran its course and I know what I must do.

The Plan

1) Honesty is the best policy. I have to tell Aisha about everything. All the difficulties we've encountered are way beyond us. We've both tried so hard but we're not seeing a connection that we want. Its come to the realisation that we're both decent people but not for each other.

2) Once #1 has been accomplished. I must attempt to get in touch with Husna. Tell her about what has happened. Lay all my cards out on the table. Give it one last shot. Sometimes we've gotta do what we can for the things that we believe in.

Best case scenario: Husna is willing to try again. Worst case scenario: Nothing happens.

What does that do for me? It closes both chapters; just in time for the summer :-)


  1. Salaam Seek,
    Call it women's intuition. I have always had a strong inclination that you shouldn't have stop pursuing "Husna". I know, I have said it again, and I'll say it again. That's what I sincerely advise you. From your post, I strongly believe that she wants you too!

    I'll pray that she changes her mind or (what I believe is) her circumstances grow favourable, so she can accept you.

    may Allah be with you bro!

  2. Salam,

    that sounds like a good plan. and i think the order is good too. you should definitely give Aisha a 'yes' or 'no' before you go back to talking to Husna, i think, not the other way around, so that's good.

    Perhaps you should have your father, or some other family member talk to her family. Like have your father talk to her father, or your mother talk to her mother. Because you wrote in another post that you already talked to her father by letter, so if you go again, it might not work, but maybe another person may have a different effect. I dont know, just offering ideas.

    anyway, best of luck

  3. Sailoress - Wsalaam, I just felt that she gave in easily but that said I know she tried but when it came to the father she just seemed to have accepted his decision.

    I *really* can't express how much I want this to work out. She understands me, she gets my weird sense of humour and so many other hobbies and interest go.

    y - Wsalaam. I definitely agree things should be done in order. And I've made my intentions clear. My only concern is how Husna will view the whole Aisha escapade! Aisha knew of Husna but Husna does not know that I pursued Aisha. I think things will go smoothly with Aisha. Bless her. she's so strong yet so brittle. I really will find a way to help her with our situation insha'Allah.

    I will initially contact Husna and ask her if its appropriate for me to get in touch with her (i.e. ensure she isn't in talks with someone else). Then I intend to lay everything inc the istikhara and Aisha episode.

    Everyone - Please keep me in your duas insha'Allah!

  4. Life is definitely a beautiful struggle.
    I don't understand the whole dream concept in Istikhara. I just pray as many times as I can and consult with my fellow muslims about my situation. Isn't that what the hadith says to do anyway? Go with how you feel and inshAllah things will work out for the best. :-)

  5. Dreams are just one of many ways you can be shown an inclination towards a feeling.

    Jazakallah Khair for dropping by :)

  6. Salaam,

    I've read through some of your posts, and I feel they resonate the woes of a bleeding, yet faithful heart. Alhamdulillah.. I've seen some lose the gift of the latter.. a priceless loss.

    Your 'plan of action' after istikharah in this post is intriguing... resembles one who has a clear sense of direction, mashaAllah. Personally, in all istikharas I've done throughout life for any purpose, I've felt nothing, seen no dream, sensed no form of 'signs'. It gets aggravating at times, but I still do it with the solace that I've consulted Allah, and any decision I take after it will be for the best.. or whatever's the best for me will be made easy, because I have *never* sensed any signs in any way.

    May Allah guide you to what's best for your dunya and akhirah and make it easy for you (ameen).

    P.S. I am a sister seeking myself, but I live all the way in the Gulf; and almost like your current 'amazing prospect' (mashaAllah), "circumstances" limit me to find prospects located within the Gulf. I've tried matrimonial websites, but they do not have a good quantity and/or the kind of prospects I'm looking for that are *also* in the Gulf. Know any other routes I can take?

    JazakAllah khair for the efforts and intentions in advance.

  7. Wsalaam,

    I agree. As humans, speaking first and foremost about myself we're very weak. As soon as the heart feels discomfort it's extremely difficult to pick yourself up.

    In situations like these it's very easy to lose faith. Why? It's a lot easier to a commit a sin than it is to a good deed. And usually by committing haraam, things seem easier. Muslims don't make it any easier in these situations so there is no 'worldly incentive' to do things the halaal way.

    Istikharaa is the very thing that you've stated. Solace with Allah (swt). The sky isn't meant to green nor all your decision meant fall in front of you. Its something you decide upon with your complete trust in Allah. Ultimately in seeking his help, Allah will either make your decision easier or he will turn it away from you. Insha'Allah I hope to write an entry on this in due course :)

    The best course of action in your circumstance is to network. Networking is the key to building contacts and relationship with people. Through these people you can find some 'real' potentials insha'Allah. I'm sure the gulf will have someone for you, keep trying insha'Allah and let us know how it goes!

  8. Thanks for your response.

    You're right about networking; and that is the route I am trying to take - though I have to largely do it online which tends to be more difficult in many ways. I live in Saudi Arabia, and there aren't many opportunities to network in "real life" here. Oh well.. inshaAllah khair. If it's destined to be... it will be...

  9. Salaam :)
    You moved quick in that post lol thats good alhamdulillah you got good intentions and you know what to do, and you dont hang about and waste time which is very good.
    It is quite difficult to find THE partner, it could be anyone, but at the end of the day you will be with the one Allah has chosen for you. So inshaAllah things will go well with Husna. Seems like you go well together and she will keep you happy and I'm sure you'll keep her happy too. If it doesn't work atleast you know you done all you could and Allah has someone more suited for you. Whatever happens will be best for you
    Take care

  10. I went back and read your post about Husna. I'm glad you've decided to pursue her again and put your heart at rest. Who knows, perhaps her father will change his mind and will at least consider meeting your family.

    You seem to be a genuine brother, mashaAllah, and Allah (swt) will do whatever is the best for you. May Allah (swt) make this easy for you. Ameen.