3 years and 9 months ago I was asked what I look for in a woman. I sat down and asked myself this question for weeks. It started off as a lengthy note. Infact, it was pages long. I kept meeting people, the document kept changing. Eventually the list became condensed and it remained constant over the years. Here's what I wrote:
"A Muslim should never be at the bottom of the chain. If you think big, you're ambitious and believe we can strive to change the world that we live in then already have a great deal in common.
It's hard to quantify what you need and ya'ani there's more to people than a one dimensional checklist. So, I'm going paint an image of what I envisage will go down a treat with me. Here's my most recent image:
She's humble, has character and fears Allah.
She's chilled out, playful, down to earth and intelligent. Family orientated.
She yearns for good in this life but more for the afterlife. Marriage is a means of getting closer to Allah.
When the going gets tough, she knows that regardless of how different our views are, we'll succeed. Understands her position, responsibility as a woman and mine as a man. Respect.
Someone that can just sit and chill with, anywhere. You know, like your best friend. Companionship. Homie.
That's my wife, my equal."
I put this across to more than a hundred prospects since I was originally asked this question. In summary; here were my findings.Of all the people I considered: they all felt my criteria for a spouse was reasonable. I was under the impression every person felt like they fit that bill. I was pleasantly surprised because all I was asking for was companionship, character and something that every human being wants.
Having something like this put across - defining what you're looking for. It exudes thought, it displays effort and it demonstrates character, It repels those who aren't very serious or at the very least gives them something to think about, and it attracts those that are more serious. Some fit that criteria. The vast majority didn't. Of those that fit the bill. There's two woman I will never forget.
One is Arwa.
The other is just preparing her outfit for our Walimah next month.
Mrs Soulseek.
"A Muslim should never be at the bottom of the chain. If you think big, you're ambitious and believe we can strive to change the world that we live in then already have a great deal in common.
It's hard to quantify what you need and ya'ani there's more to people than a one dimensional checklist. So, I'm going paint an image of what I envisage will go down a treat with me. Here's my most recent image:
She's humble, has character and fears Allah.
She's chilled out, playful, down to earth and intelligent. Family orientated.
She yearns for good in this life but more for the afterlife. Marriage is a means of getting closer to Allah.
When the going gets tough, she knows that regardless of how different our views are, we'll succeed. Understands her position, responsibility as a woman and mine as a man. Respect.
Someone that can just sit and chill with, anywhere. You know, like your best friend. Companionship. Homie.
That's my wife, my equal."
I put this across to more than a hundred prospects since I was originally asked this question. In summary; here were my findings.Of all the people I considered: they all felt my criteria for a spouse was reasonable. I was under the impression every person felt like they fit that bill. I was pleasantly surprised because all I was asking for was companionship, character and something that every human being wants.
Having something like this put across - defining what you're looking for. It exudes thought, it displays effort and it demonstrates character, It repels those who aren't very serious or at the very least gives them something to think about, and it attracts those that are more serious. Some fit that criteria. The vast majority didn't. Of those that fit the bill. There's two woman I will never forget.
One is Arwa.
The other is just preparing her outfit for our Walimah next month.
Mrs Soulseek.
