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Monday, 22 September 2014

My Kinda Lady

3 years and 9 months ago I was asked what I look for in a woman. I sat down and asked myself this question for weeks. It started off as a lengthy note. Infact, it was pages long. I kept meeting people, the document kept changing. Eventually the list became condensed and it remained constant over the years. Here's what I wrote:

"A Muslim should never be at the bottom of the chain. If you think big, you're ambitious and believe we can strive to change the world that we live in then already have a great deal in common.

It's hard to quantify what you need and ya'ani there's more to people than a one dimensional checklist. So, I'm going paint an image of what I envisage will go down a treat with me. Here's my most recent image:

She's humble, has character and fears Allah.

She's chilled out, playful, down to earth and intelligent. Family orientated.

She yearns for good in this life but more for the afterlife. Marriage is a means of getting closer to Allah.

When the going gets tough, she knows that regardless of how different our views are, we'll succeed. Understands her position, responsibility as a woman and mine as a man. Respect.

Someone that can just sit and chill with, anywhere. You know, like your best friend. Companionship. Homie.

That's my wife, my equal."


I put this across to more than a hundred prospects since I was originally asked this question. In summary; here were my findings.Of all the people I considered: they all felt my criteria for a spouse was reasonable. I was under the impression every person felt like they fit that bill. I was pleasantly surprised because all I was asking for was companionship, character and something that every human being wants.

Having something like this put across - defining what you're looking for. It exudes thought, it displays effort and it demonstrates character, It repels those who aren't very serious or at the very least gives them something to think about, and it attracts those that are more serious. Some fit that criteria. The vast majority didn't. Of those that fit the bill. There's two woman I will never forget.

One is Arwa.

The other is just preparing her outfit for our Walimah next month.

Mrs Soulseek.

13 comments:

  1. Mabrook! May Allah make you and your wife so happy together inshallah! You have no idea how happy I am for you.

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    1. Ameen and Jazakallah khair. I pray that Allah grants you peace, comfort and happiness in this life.

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  2. MashAllah tabarakAllah congratulations!! May Allah swt bless you and your wife immensely, both in this dunya and the akhirah, Ameen.

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  3. omg mashaAllah Allahu Akbar. I'm overly excited reading this amazing news that I could almost cry wallah ahaha. Super duper happy for you akhi!! May Allah SWT put loads of barakah in your marriage inshaAllah. May your wife be the coolness to your eyes and by the will of Allah azza wa jal, may you two be reunited in jannah al firdows Ameen. So so happy for you!!!!!!!

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  4. Mubarak bro :)

    This has been a loooonnng time coming, and I'm glad you're finally there. May this next chapter be the start of a collaborative, beautiful, eternal journey to Allah's pleasure in both this dunya and the akhirah.

    May He place the best of love, mercy, kindness, and all good things between you two; and help you both to achieve great things going forward....both for your personal legacies, and the pious, amazing kids I hope you will leave behind.

    I hope you continue to write, because you'll still have a lot to cover now in marriage :)

    Yacoob

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  5. And they all lived happily ever after.

    The end. looooool

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  6. Mabrook bro! Duas for both. Finally!! Yaay!! Alhamdulilah Im superhappy for you!

    Hijabisailoress

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  7. I cannot tell you how happy I am for you! It took a while but in the end your patience was well worth it. Wishing you and your wife all the happiness in this world and hereafter. Will you stop posting now? I hope not because your blog is a rare gem. Hope you don't mind me asking about Arwa and what happened there?

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  8. OMG ....you got married MashAllah...wow...congratulations!!!! :):):) so...are we going to hear this story???

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  9. Congratulations!!! Alhamdulillah :)

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  10. Oh my Allah! Mabrooook! I missed a lot since I last read your blog.

    IF I may produce a belated " ulululululu"!!!

    ...happy days Alhamdulilah.

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    ReplyDelete