Saturday, 3 September 2011

The Concluding Introduction

So, why did I share that one aspect of my life with you?

The reason why I had started the introduction was because I had lost focus. I almost forgot the person I had become and the trials that I had faced. I had wrote a further few entries but they've served their purpose. As lessons and reminders. A reminder of the person I have become and who I aspire to be.

Earlier this year, the drama happened, you know the one when you feel like you've lost everything. And rightly so, you might have lost everything.

In that state of desperation to shout no, no and NO. Where you know so many people, you continue looking around with that blank hopeless look - 'help' is all you want. And nobody is around. There also comes that point in your life where you outgrow some of your friends.

Then you look back to see who will always be there for you. They make you smile. Because it's always those that have strong faith and character. Your love exponentially grows for them.

You know you have the right kind of humble and shy qualities of a believer. Then you also know you're super confident with serious levels of self-esteem. However, not enough to show any kind of arrogance or ego.

I call it SWAG. Something We Asians Got. (I joke!) More importantly we must become better people and in return better Muslims.

I'm making things happen. By Allah, I'm trying.

The wife part is essential in things falling into place. I'm starting to find this process tedious. I've been at it for way too long. I'm actually sick and tired of it. It consumes alot and it's a draining process. When is it going to end? Allahu allam.

The quest bladdy continues..


  1. Sometimes it doesnt take much to realise who had your back for real and who was only faking it. sometimes we take the fakers for granted, and it really hurts in the end when you turn around and they're not there.

    Thought provoking piece. :)

    As for the quest: haha! Sabr right? That's all we can hold on to!
    Good luck x

  2. Maybe it's time to take a break if the quest is draining you? I've found Ramadan a perfect time to reflect and take stock of my life, but now it's over and now my Dissertation is over finally, it's a good time to re-assess what your priorities are and where you want to continue the search. maybe take a breather from the quest for a week or two, sometimes when we focus on one thing we're too close to it and don't know the good thing that's staring us right in the face.

    Sometimes you need to clear your head, get away from everything and realise where you are and where you want to be. If you do go down that route, then I'll miss your posts but it's important for anyone on this journey to realise that what you had initially imagined for yourself in a partner, may not be available except in Jannah (In Shaa Allah).

    I've just started to listen to some Islamic lectures, I found a good one yesterday by Dr. Ahmed Safar - it's called the husband-Wife Relationship and I found it really beneficial to understand how in simple terms a husband and wife should act together.

    Don't mean to preach to choir (Lol!) but when I find something inspiring I shout it out from the rooftops!

  3. Oh, and I found this status on FB that I think was appropriate for both genders: ♥ A woman's heart should be so lost in Allah that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her love... ♥

  4. Look how far you've come SS in a short amount of time. A few months ago you would have finished posting those posts you've already written? Not everyone needs to know everything huh?

    Life is tough and the people who you think you can rely on are not always there for you. That's why you should never have any expectations. Do what good you can for people but don't expect anything in return. Although my mum always says that if you're good to people, help them out, then Allah (swt) automatically creates people who do the same for you :)

    The quest can go on for many years but you must remember that regardless of what happens, it is something that isn't in your control. There's something beautiful about that. If Allah (swt) had given us control over everything, can you imagine what life would be like? haha I know for a fact that sometimes just because people seem right for you, doesn't always mean that they are. That's with any relationship, not just marriage.

    Earlier this year, the drama did happen. It's been an interesting six months dude!! And SWAG..six months ago I would have asked my younger bro what all that was about haha

    Agree with Hum about a woman's heart as I've read it myself...

    It's easy to lose focus, but if you remain true to yourself, nothing or nobody can ever bring you down. Be strong within yourself and everything will fall into place. After all, this life is just a test.....

    Oh and sabr isn't just about endurance. It's about tolerance and control. It's about relationships with people, emotions and faith all rolled into one. As for feeling drained and tired of the process, as someone who has been through it for many years all I can say is....Hope, perservere and never give up. But you should know that already with your training SS. Positive Mental Attitude......There are always people who have been through much worse than what you're going through. Sometimes, they don't have anyone at all. We're lucky enough to have our families and friends. Some people have no-one but Allah (swt) to rely on when things are really bad.....

  5. Upon your request here you are:

    enjoy! :)

  6. Yours Truly - Sadly the opposite is also true. That it takes for you to fall down to see who really was there.

    Or sometimes, in my case - They're just unable to be any kind of help. Through no fault of their own. It is just what's within their remit of thinking. You sit there and they ask you what's up. You share for the sake of sharing but their advice is of no substance. But it leaves a warm feeling behind.

    Why? They tried. That's what friends do.

    Cakes? Someone's gonna get hurt yo!

  7. Hum - Super advice. The truth is I've already 'been there, done that.' What you said reflects on such large gaps in my posting habits.

    I mean I'm just generally tired of this process. It's unfortunate but it has to be done. I have come to the realisation and understanding; which explains why I now find this process easy.

    I ran out of zeal a long time ago. This is me just doing things with effort and determination. Ala tying your camel and doing things the hard proper way. The way it should be done.

    And you go girl, that's the way of sharing! Jazakallah Khair for sharing the talk, I'll check it out later today and indeed it's a quality quote. You must find Allah before everything else.

    The rest is peanuts. I know because I'm here writing about it :o)

  8. SI - Where's the LIKE button? I just found myself nodding along.

    Wise words dude, wise words. Your mother sounds like a superwomen, reminds me much of my mum. Masha'Allah.

    There's a lot of truth in what you say and that is just the way it is. Sometimes an opportunity may present itself and look great on paper but practically; bash, bump, crash, fall, hit, smack flat on your face.

    In marriage it goes beyond the things we're taught to look out for. The way we conduct ourselves. The way we deal with problems. The way we make decisions. There are no hard guides on these.

    It's something you learn and develop.

  9. 'LIKE' button? What did I tell you about Facebook and E-Safety?

  10. "I'm starting to find this process tedious. I've been at it for way too long. I'm actually sick and tired of it. It consumes alot and it's a draining process. When is it going to end? Allahu allam."