Husna Revisited

Remember the plan? What plan? Come on guys, ya know: this one!

I proceeded with the plan and its pretty funny how things work out. Funny now, because I can only look back and move forward.

I contacted Husna and laid out everything on the table. I shared my thoughts and told her how how I felt. I shared how these weren't just emotional feelings after a bollywood special. This was something serious. I explained how I was making a stand for something I believed and what I wanted. (Sounds good, right?)

Que the wait . . the anticipation of waiting for a response was a killer! Her response was as follows. She was really shocked and it took her a while to sink in and she shared similar sentiments BUT (there's always that damn but) whilst she felt we got on really well and had similar future goals her issue was familiy. Now this is where I'm profoundly confused.

She said how things didn't go ahead because her parents felt uncomfortable, she took that as a sign from Allah. She said she felt she shouldn't have to persuade her family because if there is blessing in it, Allah will make it easy.

Now I'm not the smartest guy but I completely disagree! If something is by the decree of Allah (i.e this situation) it doesn't always fall into place. You have to work for your rizq (provisions).

So I asked her a few questions and I received a response. Unfortunately she really didn't want to see outside of the box and gave no indication of wanting it to work.

So there you have it. The chapter of Husna has been closed. I have so much respect for her and I pray Allah finds her someone equally as decent.

How did I feel? A strange feeling.You know how I carried out the first part of the plan? I thought it worked until Aisha struck a chord back. Conveniently just as I was responding to Husna. She didn't accept things this time. She fought back. She changed my feelings for her.

Aisha's story is by far the most compelling experience to date. This girl is special in a very different way. I'm having difficulties in writing an entry for this one. I never thought I would encounter that problem.

Females, you are interesting creatures.

The Awkward Moment

The plan was initiated and carried out. I'm glad I had the patience I did whilst it was executed. Alhamdulillah. I did things to the best of my ability.

I have received responses from both Aisha and Husna. Things have taken a twist that I didn't expect. I am being tested. Its these tests where free-will is exercised and the decree from Allah is then set into motion.

Husna. Ah Husna. You don't fail to impress. Very intelligent. However, I disagree that "If Allah wanted this to work he would have made it easy". Tell me something. Do we have to work for our provisions? Of course we do. Things don't fall into place, it requires work and effort. I also disagree with a few other fundamental points. My response to Husna was that I would respond to her thoughts in a couple of weeks when my thoughts were more clearer as it's that time of the academic year.

The Awkward Moment

Standing at the front with them two watching you - eeeeeeeeeeeeek! 

I had to chair an event. There were a lot of sisters. Aisha was present. Whilst preparing my notes just before the event, one of my closest brothers gave me a heads up:

"Don't panic but Husna is here"
Good joke.
"Seriously"
Don't do this to me!
"Bro, I'm Sorry but you're awesome, chill!"
Why are you sorry? Haha - Okay breatheee SoulSeek, breathe!!!

I really needed that for last minute preparations! I'm confident and I have the ability to speak publically. But boy, my heart started to race. It felt so bizarre and difficult to maintain a confident smile.

In the corner of my eye, I saw 'that' Abaya I last saw her in. I just couldn't look to confirm if it was her, I felt so shy and my face was flush. I had to maintain eye contact with key brothers, so I placed a few guys strategically within the audience. I'm such a badass!

Whilst I was talking. Within my peripheral vision; that one distinctive Abaya . . . got up and left.

I have to presume she didn't leave because of me. Her email really didn't reflect that, at all.

Plan B is now in operation after I hand in my dissertation. What is plan B? That will come in time, my precious.

Ya Allah glorify me with the patience and wisdom to make a good, and fair decision so that I may benefit in this World and the life-after. Ameen.