And It's A Wrap!

The Journalist.

The first time I uttered the words "you're the one". She did the same in return. Allah made it so easy it was beyond belief. We wanted to get married this month. I invested every ounce of my free time into her.

Her family started the fitna. And they went in full force throughout Eid. Her soft natured personality was always overshadowed by her family and she was always bullied and seen as the weaker link. All islamic personalities too.

When it came to her making this decision, they felt 'moving away for her would be difficult'. Subhaanallah, this is what we Muslims have deteriorated to after finding everything else is key. Spot on. Plucking things out of thin air, telling her how she would feel. Her sisters were plain wrong and just sly. They constantly patronised and mocked her. They both married choices whom their parents did not approve of and they were dictacting her decisions. He brother was the type, who would threaten to server family ties if they don't approve of his dictatorship in the household. They used her as the maid of the house to even look after her sisters' husband too. Charming stuff. I loved her approach on these people. She always looked for the best in them. Great quality but it must be used correctly. Unfortauntely that's where she fell. She failed to recognise how damaging they were to her. To us. One can only sugar coat a wicked person for so long.  

We worked. She loved my family. And we saw a future together. Today, she spoke to her father in SA and the siblings had relayed some nonsense back. They weren't very warm. Please note: They did not disapprove. They just felt concerned about her 'soft personality'. When I spoke to them they were equally as cold.

It all changed in 60 minutes when I asked her if she was willing to see this through. She cried. I will never understand this emotional blackmail families put upon each other. Me? I had very few words. Assalamu Alaikum was all I could say. I've established this level self respect and of self value. I've learnt to just walk away. You have to learn to accept that those hundreds of hours you invested only for it to fail - Is an essential part in picking the mother of your children. I stand by that.

She didn't step up. So, I retract my earlier statement about her being the one. 4 years on and every suitor is adament there is nothing wrong with me. I step outside of my body and I just stand there. I feel a different kind of numb.

I feel I can't do this anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. I've exerted myself.

Destiny. Maybe this is mine. Alhamdulillah.