Accepting Reality

In the last 12 months I've travelled and explored six countries. I've experienced some incredible highs, some being the peak of my life. I travelled two countries back to back in November. That was the last time I travelled after falling incredibly ill.

I woke up today with a horrible feeling. Something's been lurking for months, I know because I've suppressed this feeling from arising. It's easy to identify this feel as it first affects the salah. Accepting that my imaan is not what it once was is a bitter pill to swallow. Reality hits when you discover that all other areas of your life are crumbling and crumbling fast.

Rolling with the status quo and tactfully avoiding answering any questions is a good indicator for things going south. Sharing the real picture won't get me the support that I'm looking for.

The more worrying part is that I really don't know what I'm doing or where I'm heading. What I do know is that I'm unhappy and I feel low.

I need duas. The last 6 months have been restless and I don't feel any closer to my (lack of) ambitions.