My parents surprisingly took the initiative to help towards the cause.
The parents went for the initial meet and they said she was extremely impressive. Good marriage material.
They told me about the girl and the family and it all looked promising.
So, we arranged a date and we went to see the family. Initial impressions, the parents were extremely quiet and as the conversation progressed it seems they've lived an extremely sheltered life and imposed that lifestyle on their daughters.
The conversation progressed and a revelation was then made, the girl wasn't even aware of the marriage. Okay . . They continued and told me she would obey everything I say or do. I sit, she sits - Great . . a doormat!
I couldn't talk to her because her father thinks that daughters who speak to their potential husbands in front of their mahram are the bad girls. This comment threw me off.
Another day passed. Another experience gained.
And so it continues . .
CRINGE!!!
ReplyDeleteyou should have tested out the girl's father's claim that his daughter would obey everything you say or do by telling to girl to become an extrovert and independent personality who understands life as you know it and see how that comes out.
i've always thought that the wife should help the husband develop through life by challenging him, making him think outside of the box, and adding her thoughts to anything, rather than just agree without questioning.
you can compare that to a business who's executive members meet and discuss the best way forward. without that discussion, their direction would not be as strong as their competitors and they would fail.
definately though, 'doormat' is not the way to go.
@ Geetar Hiro: An excellent response! lol @ 'doormat'.
ReplyDeleteWOW...I don't even know what to say. Its a shame to see that people still raise their daughters that way. Why would someone want to marry an individual that blindly obeys? How boring would that be? It leaves no room for healthy discussion.
ReplyDeleteIt's possible though that the daughter still has her own personality even with that upbringing. The whole problem is that the father won't involve her opinion in anything.
ReplyDelete