Istikhara Take Six And Take Seven

Been really busy, so dropping the two entries together.

Night Six

This was a BIG development. Things went pretty bad. I generally give people naseeha on why making your own decisions are important. Ultimately you're responsible for the decision(s) you make and that's something you have to live with and take into consideration. You can't blame other people for your decision. And this is why some relationships turn sour. The blame game. Ooo-errr.

The power of influence. An Alima give her opinion on the matter. Her family took it as gospel. Their arrangements didn't work for me. I can't make the biggest decision in my life by just saying tawwakul Allah (pacing your trust in Allah). Masha'Allah, great if you can. But I believe in tying your camel first. You have to be naive to assume two people with deen will make things magically work. Maybe in Bollywood. Sure.

Oh wait, Lollywood? Muslims, halal, get it? Ha!

I had my Tafsir class. On my way out, I wasn't content with what went down. I just needed assurance I wasn't losing my mind. I spoke to my teacher. A mufti. He's a badass to put it bluntly. Awesome and straight up he is. He gave me the peace of mind I needed from a well learned person. "SoulSeek, speak to the girl and explain things again."

And so I did. She then spoke to my teacher. He gave her some straight up advice. "I deal with a lot of marriage cases. The divorce is terrible amongst our Muslims and I think a lot of young people make irresponsible decisions." I don't claim to be a person of knowledge but I know one thing. The sunnah of the prophet is clear. We don't need 'interpretations' on most issues.

There may be a big battle ahead. Who knows?

I have a way of putting things. So she says. I think she's delusional. I'm clearly a nut job. And I've made it clear that I may turn senile before 30. Whoever is going to marry me. Good luck!

It brings me back to my original question. Do I want a trainee?

Istikhara take six: Complete. 

Status: Unsure.

***

 

Night Seven

Do I want a trainee? The truth is when you want to be with somebody, it doesn't matter where they are in life. Even if they have to learn how to walk. A building could be on fire. And the only thing on your mind will be on how to make it to the other side. That's conviction right there.

Solid progress today. Making the kind of progress I've been wanting to make from the start. Alhamdulillah. My terms are coming into play. My terms? They made sense and it's in compliance with the Shariah. She's now starting to make sense of what I initially laid down. High 5 anyone?

I just need more fruitful sessions like these to detail if she's the one.

Insha'Allah. 

Istikhara take Seven: Complete. 

Status: Unsure. However, I do see light.